35. Mothers.

Last Sunday was Mother's Day here. I know it's not a happy holiday for all; giving birth does not entitle you to call yourself a mother, and some people never learn to be worthy of that title. I am extremely fortunate to have a mother who is easy to love and who loves me back even more.

Whenever I talk about my mother, I end up talking about myself. This is fitting in many ways. My mother is not a perfect person; some might argue she's very flawed. She is, however, a perfect mother, to the point where the idea of motherhood terrifies me a lot of the time. How could I ever devote my life to someone as selflessly as my mother has done? She was a a typical middle child; I was an only child and always spoiled with attention. I have always been the centre of my mother's life. Will I ever be able to move from the centre of gravity into a planet circling it? I don't know.

I do know, however, that my mother has taught me many things. She's taught me to always put others' needs before your own. (I have mostly unlearnt this one.) She's taught me there is no shame in embarrassing yourself to save someone else's face. She's taught me making stupid faces will never stop being funny - as a matter of fact, it gets exponentially funnier the more wrinkles you have. She's taught me to always pay my taxes and like it. She's taught me all people are equal, no exceptions allowed. She's taught me it's okay to make mistakes as long as you don't hurt others. She's taught me chocolate and dancing by yourself makes everything better. She's taught me to always wear sensible shoes and bring tissues. She's taught me I'm great but no better than anyone else, and that I don't need to be the best to be good. She's taught me to stand up for things I believe in and to shut up when I have nothing constructive to say. (Okay, I'm working on this one as well.) She's taught me women can fix the plumbing better than most men. She's taught me that family will stick by you, no matter how messed up you are, what colour your hair or skin is, how many times you've been institutionalized, what your fetishes are, how many times you lose at this game called life. You're ours, and we'll be damned if we ever let you go.

She's mine, and I'll be damned if I ever let her go.